Saying Goodbye for Now

I know that Christmas was almost a month ago, but i just took my tree down on Sunday with the help of my sister and cousin. Hubby thought I was crazy for even putting it up because we spent Christmas in Utah. However, my Christmas tree makes me happy. I love to watch Christmas movies while put it up alone. ( I don't like to do it alone just everyone refuses to help me.) I admit my Christmas tree is a bit crowded. I get told it looks like a mall tree by Hubby's sister. I love my Christmas tree it sets the mode for the season for me. I am very lucky that my daughter doesn't tear it a part. Well I'm sharing my tree with you. I don't think the pictures do it justice because the best part is sitting in a blanket curled up with all the lights off except for the tree and a Christmas movie. Sharing those moments with people who I care about means the most. Thank you though to Sis and Cuz for helping with all the putting away part.

Determination vs. Desperation

I just got off of the phone with my mother-in-law. She and I get a long very well. When we hang out it is like having another sister. Anyhow, over Christmas break she gets word from her doctor that the suspicious spot on her skin she had biopsied was melanoma. Luckily, it was in early stages and they got it all, yet as an extra precaution they set up an appointment to remove the surrounding tissue. In a couple more weeks she will go in to have her stitches from that surgery removed and will hear what ever news they hear back from the lab on the surrounding tissue.
Now my MIL is very grateful for the inspiration she received to go to the doctor and at the same time frightened as she hears more people's stories of loved ones lost. She has seen this as a wake up call not a death sentence from her loving Father in Heaven, to remind her to as she said "get my poop in a group." (that expression made me laugh had never heard it before.) I love that she realizes that God is lovingly leading her back to the things she knows she should be doing. I am very grateful that the diagnosis for my Mother-in-law has been very positive and reassuring.

Now as I ponder on her situation it make me wonder why some people react positively to their trials and others so negatively. My question for myself and for you is if you found out you were going to die in a much shorter time frame than you originally planned would you said screw trying to be perfect and eat drink and be merry or would you improve yourself as much as you can? As I type that question I think of the move Stepmom (I always bawl during that one). She spends her time taking care of the people around her. I think when we think we are dying or know we are dying our true selves emerge. So who are we, who do I want to be?

I read a quote yesterday and when I read it I knew I would share it with you. It is a quote I heard at Brigham Young University in LDS Marriage and the Scriptures, a class I was taking with my then boyfriend now husband. Dr. Brent Barlow said " What you are is more important than what you were and what you can be is more important than what you are." I hope that all of you will read this statement and carefully apply it to all areas of your personal development. I also hope that we all will be person that brightens the world around us even when trials would try to stop us.

A Month? For Reals???

How in the world did a whole month fly by? I can't believe it. I started a post mid December but never finished it. About hating to pack.... go figure. I'm a chronic overpacker. I just wanted t let the few that read know that life has been well the hectic Holidays that I love so well. and that I'm back. And I have some New Year's Goals. I'm also trying to plan a trip to the one place I've wanted to go for as long as I can remember. PARIS! But if you read that properly you saw the trying. It isn't certain yet, but I do have my passport now. YEAH!!!. Another trip to pack for. But one that I think I will not mind so much.

Excuse me but I think you dropped your Sense of Adventure

Did you lose something? What that isn't yours???? Are you sure? Because if I'm not mistaken I think you are missing something.... Your sense of adventure. Believe me I understand, I often misplace my own. I promise I am not overly crazy. Although I express myself as a crazy person at times. Seriously, though answer me this - how many times have you let fear of failure hold you back from trying something you REALLY want to do? How often does the fear of looking ridiculous keep you from living life? Think back, when was the last time you truly laughed and enjoyed yourself? In that moment was fear holding you back? Probably not. The truest moments, the happiest times, are those precious times when we through inhibitions aside and be ourselves. If you are worried about being judged for your appearance, or competence. Have you ever really wanted to sing along to your favorite song but didn't know all the words or were just afraid of people watching you? I hate that. I think back to my teen years, and while I was admittedly very self centered in my thinking, I also enjoyed so much more, because even with all the drama around me I was not afraid to speak my mind, even when I was completely wrong. I am still that way a little. I am sure I talk louder than I should in stores or do not quite react appropriately to all situations. However, I am much more reserved. I also know that I now have much more trouble making friends. Why you ask? Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of being unaccepted.
I hope if you are like me and have occasionally misplaced your sense of adventure, or have been brick walled by fear, that you will not remain trapped. I hope that you will start the project that you have put off because you didn't want to mess it up, that you will talk to the people waiting in line with you, and that you will sing along to your favorite songs, and dance even when you don't know how. Just enjoy life and let me know if there is something that fear has been stopping you from doing? I hope it will become your new goal to accomplish all the adventures your heart has longed for.

Expectation

You go to the movies expecting to be blown away and you come away somewhat disappointed WORST NIGHT EVER, but you go to a party expecting to feel out of place and find you fit right in BEST PARTY EVER. Ok so those are just random scenarios. Yet in truth, our expectations can often set us up for disappointment. Even most of my arguments with hubby (not that they are frequent) start from some expectation his or mine not being met. We expect mind reading self sacraficing people in our lives the type we are not willing to be. So anyhow. Just a random thought. Maybe if we expect less we will be pleased more often.

Earning Gift Cards through Swagbucks

Crystal Paine, author of Money Saving Mom, had a recent post about earning gift cards by searching through Swagbucks -an online search engine that rewards you for searching online. I don't know about you, but I search for everything online. One mother at Economic Endeavors tells how she has earned enough in Swagbucks in the last four months to receive hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Most of her Christmas shopping paid for through using AND referring others to this site.


Swagbucks is very simple to sign up for. There are no fees, no credit card required, and no phone number or address requested. They do not track your searched or spam you. After signing up, you are credited 3 points to your account. You can either do your searching directly from their site or download one of the toolbars or plugins to use every day as you're searching online. After only 45 points earned, you can get a free Amazon gift card. There are dozens of other prizes, too.

Tell all your friends about Swagbucks, send them your referral link and you'll also earn points for the searching they do online.
Tell lots of folks and you're well on your way to funding your entire Christmas budget with free gift cards from Swagbucks. I'm not kidding you, that's exactly what Lavonne did. See her post here with the details.

If it sounds great to you I hope you will sign up using any of my Swagbucks links in this post or in my sidebar sign up and keep on searching online. So what are you waiting for? Go sign up here.

All the Time in the World

I know a lot of you are going to be upset to hear the next statement but.... I PREVIOUSLY thought that stay at home moms had all the time in the world to enjoy themselved. Sure I did imagine that they had the occasional small task of child care and picking up a few toys or something. But a stay at home mom should have time to do all those projects that they always wanted to do but never had time for.

Since the birth of my almost two year old girl I have been a stay at home mom. I have not gotten anything done in TWO years. It is crazy. I stand in awe of those mothers who do all the cooking, cleaning, PTAing, chauffering, and mothering and still seem to have some life. Because I tell you I hardly ever can see the floors in my house, and laundry gets done when... well when we run out of clean underwear. Although it isn't much of an excuse, for the first 18 months after birth I watched my lovely nieces as well as my own ball of joy. That took ALL of my time. It has been about 5 months since then and still I find myself misusing my time.

Now as mentioned before TV addiction has claimed much of my day. I HATE this. So the past two weeks my loyal tv viewing has stopped. It has been liberating. While I still have to develope a schedule, and a lot more structure to my day, for myself as well as my little one, I do find that I've gotten more laundry done, and some of the piles of clutter have been uncluttered. There is still more to do. But I feel like I'm not glued to my television. Maybe, just maybe, I can do something on a Thursday night without feeling resentful for not seeing what happens on my favorite show. I will say that I am not forbidding these shows, I just don't feel that same draw. It has helped that many of my shows have now become so liberal that even I am slightly offended and uncomfortable watching them. It is nice to not worry so much about the influence of all these shows and all the gender confusion they display.

So my questions for you new and experienced mothers - How do you keep your act together? Did you start off being able to do it all? Also, what are your thoughts about the drama in your television dramas?