Thursday, October 2, 2008

How Pregnancy Changed Me

When I was pregnant I gained much more than an adequate amount of weight (more than 60 pounds). I tried exercising while I was pregnant but it just never made a dent in the weight I was gaining. Within the first two months I had already gained 20 pounds without changing eating habits. My body just adjusting to pregnancy very well. My whole body was preparing for the next step, delivering a 10 pound baby. In general, my pregnancy was easy and so was my delivery. However, adjusting to this new life wasn't as easy. I couldn't get my girl to breastfeed properly and it all seemed so important after the birth. I was so focused on her. I do not think there is anything wrong with that to an extent. I still focus on her more than me and she is now almost 2. But in those first months I lost some of the almost 70 pounds I gained but I still had about 35-40 pounds of baby weight. They say that when breastfeeding a child the weight will come off. Well I breastfed until my girl was 16 months and I tell you what the breastfeeding didn't help me, but it did benefit my girl a lot. She hardly ever gets sick and I attribute it mainly to my willingness to breastfeed.
So now it has been almost two years and I still have 25 pounds to lose. I feel like I've spent the past two years so focused on being a mom that I forgot who I was, and how to take care of me. So recently, I've reclaimed part of my old identity and blended it with my new identity of mother. But I'm learning that being the best mom requires more than just giving all my time to my little one. If I want to be the best mom I have to take care of myself. I finally stepped into a salon and I got the haircut I've always wanted, and I returned to my makeup bag and found my good friends eye liner and mascara. I tossed the flats to the back of the closet and pulled out the shoes that automatically make me stand a little taller. On days when I walk out of the house looking more like the woman I see in my thoughts, I feel powerful. Beauty is powerful, it brings a positiveness to my thoughts and makes me more ready to conquer challenges instead of sitting on the couch waiting for life to happen. I can only hope that my daughter will see that a woman can be a mom and a woman both. That there is joy in being the yummy mummy I always thought I would be. And while it is almost two years and I still have 25 pounds of unwanted baby weight, I have faith that with my determination and new motivation that weight will not last for much longer.
So my question to you who are mothers is... have you discovered the power of your womanhood? How long did it take you to realize that mom doesn't mean no one looks at you anymore??? I guess I'm dense it took me a while. I hope all you recent mothers or mothers to be will not take so long to reclaim yourself.
Have a great day.

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