Friday, June 4, 2010

Dream Sequence Blogfest


So very last minute over at Elizabeth Mueller's blog, I find out about a Dream Sequence Blogfest being hosted by Amalia T.  
I don't think I have ever participated in a blogfest.  But dream sequences are part of what my current work in progress is about.  
The following scene is very raw example of the 'condition' that my MC--Damien deals with daily.
Enjoy!

*****
The queasiness in my stomach told me that I was lost in someone else’s dream again. It had been happening for months and I still hadn’t gotten used to it.
The night of my sixteenth birthday, it happened for the first time.  When I woke up my head felt like someone had used it for batting practice.  After I figured out that these dreams weren’t my own it became easy to distinguish when I wasn’t dreaming.
Gives a whole new meaning to “pinch me I must be dreaming.”    
In someone else’s dream, everything outside the dreamers mental focus appears in black and white.  Landscapes further from the dream center appeared vague and blurred as if I were walking around without my glasses.  Even the sounds of the dream becomes muddled the further I am from the dream center. 
I always felt a little bit safer being out of the dreamer’s focus, because sometimes people would remember seeing me in their dreams if I didn’t.  If I could, I would stay in the blurry outskirts of the dreams but it is only when I get closer to the vivid colors and crisp objects that the sickness in my stomach eases. 

My lack of focus, the gurgling of my stomach and grayish hue of my skin let me know I was far from of the dreamer’s focus.   Bile burned my throat, so—I headed toward the vivid colors. 
Unmarked gravestones surrounded me.  I figured names were just something that this dreamer’s mind just hadn’t generated.  Across the cemetery, there was a ceremony taking place near a short casket in color.
I began to walk with purpose forgetting that I cover ground much quicker in the dream state.  It only took seconds to reach the congregated group.  You could taste the sadness in the air.  I know that sounds weird, but emotions were very different in dreams. 
A young mother in the front row hugged an infant to her chest as she sobbed on the shoulder of her husband.  No one could even look up at the pastor as he spoke about loss and tragedy.  There were subtle glances at the tiny casket, but other than that everyone cast their eyes to the ground.
In fact, I think I was the only one that noticed the lady walking toward the group.  She proceeded slowly with her white dress draping the ground.  Her face was veiled.  Cradled in her arms was a swaddled infant.  With slow precision, she made her way closer to the group.  She started to gain the crowd’s attention, when she approached the mourning couple. Everyone was silenced and waiting.
The white lady bowed her head toward her swaddled child and hugged the bundle to her chest.  Her shoulders shook in a sob. 
“I can’t...  I can’t live like this any longer,” said the voice beneath the veil.  She handed the baby to the man who had been comforting his mourning wife.  He glanced down at the baby he had just been gifted and then to his wife.  While I stood confused they seemed to comprehend exactly what had happened.
The white lady then proceeded to the closed casket.  She clasped her hands over her chest. From beneath her hands black flamed over the white flowing fabric of her dress as if her despair singed the white dress completely blackening it with grief.  But when her veil vanished I felt as if the breath had been sucked from my lungs.  She was my mother.
I stood there stunned and staring.  I knew dreams could be disjointed and complete nonsense, but this dream and the emotions were so thick.  I guess the fact that I hadn’t been close to my mother in weeks made seeing her in this dream now hit me that much harder.
The funeral party vanished.  Only she, I, and the casket remained at the graveside.  This was her dream. 
There was my mother, the same woman who could no longer look at me—her son.  I felt like that baby she had just abandoned so easily when it would need her the most.  The fire was burning within me and my heart pounding.  She was giving up just the way she had on me.
In a low voice, somewhere between a plead and a demand, I said “Mom?”   She seemed unaware of my presence as she crumpled to the ground next to the small casket and opened it.
“Mom,” I said louder more forceful.  The lump in my throat was growing.  I couldn’t swallow the pain back.  My eyes were burning; my breathing deepened and I clenched my teeth.  Then, I exploded.  “Mother, look at me now!” 
She looked up at me. “Damien,” she said. It was nice to hear her say my name to have her look at me.  Yet there was nothing but sadness in her eyes.  She returned her attention to the casket and removed the corpse of an infant.  She hugged it to her and sobbed.
As I watched her pain, my anger melted.  I knelt beside her.  I wanted to comfort her the way she had always comforted me in the past.  I wanted to look in her eyes again.  Somehow, I knew that if only she would look at me she would stay here with me and fix my problems.  “Mom, I need you.”
     For a moment, she looked at me.  I could feel her love the emotional barrier separating us was fading.  I reached for her.  The movement reawakened her previous resolve. She closed her eyes, her head hung and she sobbed harder. “I can’t. I can’t live like this.” Tears washed down her cheeks, and our surroundings changed to a mausoleum.
A large stone casket lay open in the center of the tomb.  She rose with the infant in her arms.  My eyes bore into her back as she stood there frozen for a long moment.  She glanced over her shoulder to look at me once more.  She levitated above the casket.
     I was losing her for good.  “Please stay?”  My words brought her instantly before me.
 She raised her hand to my cheek and tucked my hair back.  “Sweet boy, it is too late.  My baby is dead.” 
I wanted to object to tell her no, I was her boy and I was living right here.  But she had faded like smoke before me.  She was in the stone coffin holding the small corpse. 
The sound of the stone grinding closed filled the crypt.  A chill ran up my spine.  With all my strength I struggled to stop the stone.  It was useless. 
A deafening echo boomed.  My mother was sealed in a house of death.  All was black and I was back in my room—awake with another migraine.
*****

There you have it my first Blogfest.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wednesday French Inspiration

 Some of my new readers wonder why French Inspiration?
So I am taking you back to the beginning
From the archives of Seriously Amber Lynae


 I love my husband a little more now than I did before.  I have more reasons to love him the longer I know him. He is a wonderful man. But why have I decided that I love him more now? why am I telling you in my post? "Because he gave me the world. Not really, but he gave me a stamp in my passport." He took me to Paris (and various other beautiful parts of France.)






It is strange to go somewhere you have never been and feel so at home. I could only understand about 80% of what was being said; could respond at the level of a 15 month old (maybe); a wallet was stolen; and my feet ached from walking ALL day. I LOVED IT. Paris is always a good idea. I can't wait to go back. The beauty and grace of the country is undeniable.

And the pastries..... oh I miss them very much. We had a wonderful boulangerie at the corner from our apartment with wonderful selection. I think I ate more chocolate during my stay in France than I have in the past 4 months combined. How can you not love a place when you are doped up on chocolate? Seriously I would go back tomorrow if I had the opportunity. Any takers? Who wants to take me to France? I must admit that this is the first time I've travel off of the American continent. I am certain there is a lot of the world that I would love.  Paris has held my heart since childhood and part of my heart shall always remain in Paris.


So there you have it in order to relive Paris and France
every week I relate some of the thousands of photos 
to my life and writing.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Seriously in Real Utah Life and Storymakers Photo Evidence

Debbie, Jenn, Jenni, Yours Truly, and Meagan

 I think it may be time that I finally put up some photos from my Olive Garden Luncheon.  It was a small gathering that took place April 17th at Olive Garden.  A lot of last minute plans, and sickness kept the group from being bigger.  There is always next time for those of you who missed it.  IT was a lot of fun. And I even brought a treat for everyone.  This group was so much fun. You should have seen Jenn's face when she thought I very casually talked about my baby's fatal fall. (Mentioned halfway through the linked post.)  She may or may not have heard the whole conversation.  I will have to make sure to have some more bloggers' luncheons when I'm in Utah again.

I also was lucky enough to attend LDS Storymakers the following Friday were I met a lot of people in real life.  Like Elizabeth, LT Elliot, Terresa, Melanie J, Kym, Alexes, CK Bryant, and Carolyn V.

I may or may not have done some of the following:

Attended a class by Bree and said a quick hello to her.

Heard Howard from writing excuses talking and knew it was
him before I saw him. Then proceed to tell him so.

Stopped James in the corridor to tell him I LOVED The Maze Runner.
And demand he keep writing.

Forced Aprilynn to stop and take a picture with me.  And told her I love Spells and Wings.




It was great visiting Utah.  There were a lot of people I would have loved to meet that I didn't So it only proves that I must come back again.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Wednesday French Inspiration.

Through the years Mona has been speculated over, stolen, recovered, splashed with acid, warped, cracked, stoned, mugged, passed around, spoofed, and always adored.  Needless to say, she has quite a backstory.  This is what makes her so special and an irresistable stop in the Louvre.  She is not a larger than life painting like some in the same museum.  She could easily be displayed in the average home. 

She can teach every writer a good lesson.  Your characters don't need to be larger than life.  They don't need to be perfect.  They take time to develop.  They need a good backstory and some mystery.  When properly developed your characters will not only be irresistable and adored, but they will also be spoofed and hated by some.  They will be real to the readers.

Do you have a Mona Lisa character?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wednesday French Inspiration



I couldn't find the history of this piece.  When I passed it in the Louvre I instantly loved it.  Recently I have felt a particular connection with it.  My husband has been away since March.  When we are apart I miss him like crazy.  My daughter misses him.  Our house, our lives are incomplete without him in our home.  Yesterday, we were reunited once again. 

What completes your life?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wednesday French Inspiration




On our way back to the train station in Versailles, our group passed El Rancho.  We all laughed at the thought of the French having a Tex-Mex bar and grill.  I realized later that it isn't such a bad idea.  In a market that is saturated with French cuisine (it is France after all), Tex-Mex would really stand out.  Of course not everyone if going to be dying to eat at a Tex-Mex grill in France.   However, the is a market for it:  those who have moved and want a taste of home, those who want to try something new, those who really love tex-mex,...etc.

Yet I think that our initial reaction says something about many aspects of life.  No matter how you decorate your house; write your book;  drive your car; or wear your clothes you will always have some people who just don't get it.  I think it is when you stop trying to please everyone and start trying to be true to yourself that you learn to be truly happy

Is your book like a Tex-Mex restaurant in the middle of France?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Wednesday French Inspiration



Globe found in the Dauphin’s large study at Versailles
In 1781 Louis XVI commissioned Mancelle to make the celestial and terrestrial globe, enclosing a second globe featuring land and underwater reliefs, for his son’s education.   This is a very fascinating piece to me for a few reasons.  Firstly, it is interesting to see how much they knew about geography of the world.  Secondly, this globe is huge... I keep expecting it to be one of  those furniture pieces with a minibar inside.   


Like most things it gets me thinking.  Whenever I see a globe I always enjoy searching out for my current location, the places I have been, and the places I long to be.   As I spin a globe, I can hear the song It's a Small World After All.  Walt really had something with that ride he designed.  While at times our world seems so huge other times we each have had those moments when we realize just how small it is.  No matter your geography we all have basic human needs and wants. One of the wants I constantly see in myself and others is the need for acceptance.  
I can admit that being a person who has always enjoyed participating in and partaking of the arts has made it sometimes hard to find my niche.   And since I have started my writing journey finding those I connect with has been done in the blogosphere.   Well during my unannounced/unplanned absence from my blog I got to live in my niche.  I attended LDStorymakers.  I felt at home with people who have a passion for the same things as myself.   It may have been my first writer's conference but it will certainly will not be my last.  My only regret is that I didn't get to attend both days and meet more people.  

I hope you know where to find your niche.